Boys

I think this will be a pretty short post, just while I'm thinking about stuff. I just finished writing my other post about books, and then I got to thinking about love interests in literature and then love interests in real life...

I feel like I'm always that kind of girl, the one that guys don't really notice or pay attention to. I'm pretty shy, maybe not so much online, but I don't have a ton of friends and I mostly hang out with my family.

And I just get frustrated sometimes because so many people are in relationships or could be and they're not and I'm alone most of the time so.......

When I was little I always thought that romance would be like it is in the books, in the movies, on TV. It all appears so easy and straightforward and there are soulmates and everything makes sense.

But in real life, it's so much more complicated. You can be best friends with a guy and not know if it'll go beyond friendship, or someone likes you and you're not sure if you like him, or you like someone but you know for a fact he likes someone else who is not reciprocating, or two people like the same person, and there's no slow-motion running through a crowded hallway.

I don't want romance to be complicated. I think love should be simple, it should make sense, and it should feel right. But I haven't ever felt that so far about anyone, really.

I know I'm only 17, I've got so much time and I should just be happy being single and not worry about the future.

Sometimes I think maybe it's not romance I really want, I just don't want to be alone. I want good friendships just as much, and I don't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. What's the point?

I was listening to the Gershwin song "Someone to Watch Over Me" recently and it really hits homes for me:

I'd like to add his initials to my monogram
Tell me where's the shepherd for this lost lamb

There's a somebody I'm longing to see
I hope that he turns out to be
Someone to watch over me

I'm a little lamb who's lost in a wood
I know I could always be good
To one who'll watch over me

Although he may not be the man some girls think of
As handsome to my heart
he carries the key

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh how I need
Someone to watch over me
Someone to watch over me 

Okay, that's all for now! Just something I was thinking about.